WIRED WRONG

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

Back to the surgeon tomorrow.

Funny, ever since I got the ps4, I hated multiplayer games. But I’m finding Friday the 13th game a lot of fun, though I tend to be one of Jason’s first victims. It’s sometimes hilarious watching the counselors who are still alive doing the dumbest things trying to survive.

Just downloaded GTA V, Mass Effect: Andromeda, Until Dawn, and Bat man: Arkham Knight.

Horizon: Zero Dawn is freaking GORGEOUS, but I’m having difficulty with the controls.

I’ve pretty much played through every Resident Evil game out there. Damn, but the plot lines are immersive.

I apparently have over 100 games in my library. Lord, I need a life.

Help me if you can
It’s just that this is
Not the way I’m wired
So could you please

Help me understand why
You’ve given in to all these
Reckless dark desires you’re
Lying to yourself again
Suicidal imbecile
You’re pounding on a fault line
What’ll it take to get it through to you precious
Over this, why do you
Wanna throw it away like this
Such a mess, well I don’t wanna watch you

Disconnect and self destruct one
Bullet at a time
What’s your rush now, everyone will have his day to die

Medicated, drama queen
Picture perfect, numb belligerence
Narcissistic, drama queen, craving fame and all it’s decadence

Lying through your teeth again
Suicidal imbecile
You’re pounding on a fault line
What’ll it take to get it through to you precious
Over this, why do you wanna
Throw it away like this
Such a mess, well I don’t wanna watch you

Disconnect and self destruct one
Bullet at a time
What’s your rush now, everyone will have his day to die

They were right about you

Lying to my face again
Suicidal imbecile
You’re pounding on a fault line
What’ll it take to get it through to you precious
Over this, why do you wanna
Throw it away like this
Such a mess, over this, over this

Disconnect and self destruct
One bullet at a time
What’s your hurry, everyone will have his day to die
If you choose to pull the trigger, should your drama prove sincere
Do it somewhere far away from here

A Perfect Circle
a perfect circle apc thirteenth step

Update.

Haven’t been on here for awhile. Had another operation, and still recovering.

Honestly, I spend most of my time talking to my friend Cody, generally through voice chat through ps4. Video games, movies, and tv shows via amazon are generally how I spend my time. I’m still struggling with addiction, self-harm, depression, and PTSD. Looking for a counselor now.

It’s been rough. But I’ve got some really close friends who make sure to tell me they love me, no matter how irrational and selfish I act.

Spent last night in the ER and saw my surgeon today, and luckily the pain has calmed down some.

I miss the people I used to talk to on here. I hope anyone who reads this is doing well. I will be okay. A day at a time.

You, you keeping on screaming from the top of
Your lungs, Mr. Who Gives A Shit, just shut up
Oh, the podium is all yours, go right ahead
The plastic king of castle polyethylene
Go on, time to be a good little pig
You’re worth it, oh you’re so, so

‘Cause when the rug gets pulled out from underneath
Just embrace the fall
Oh you got spirit, kid
You’re number one
Go on living that farce
Cause nobody gives a fuck who you are

You, I’ll never have the chance that you got
No, oh, I won’t dwell, I’ll just accept I’ll be forgot… forgotten

'Cause when the rug gets pulled out from underneath
Just embrace the fall
Oh you got spirit, kid
You’re number one
Go on living that farce
Cause nobody gives a fuck who you are

So why are you crying?
So why are you crying?
When you’ve got the world
When you’ve got the world
To command

coheed and cambria

Guess no one reads this crap anymore.

It’s just as well. Been busy going to the hospital or talking to Cody.

Got Resident Evil 7 today. Graphics are great, eerie atmosphere. Haven’t played enough to really review it.

Seeing Passenger in March, and Gabriel Inglasias, as well. So stoked!!!

Found the funniest shirt today…it’s a parody of NSync and the characters from FF 15. A lot of comments about the characters elude to them being gay. Stupidity. They look fine to me. Their outfits don’t look as odd as in FF X. Refreshing battle system, compared to others in the series. Though one character in FF 15 looks like a hipster to me. But I digress. Time for my ambien and valium.

Life is kicking me in the ass again.

Spent last night in the ER, due to my feeding tube site hurting really bad. Turns out I have yet another infection, and can’t even use it now…needs to be replaced ASAP. They didn’t want to pull it out themselves, because the hole would start closing up and require more surgery.

I also have to get blood work done tomorrow, the two infections are still in my chest, and my infectious disease doctor wants to try another medication. Then on Wednesday I have to get another transfusion.

Ouch, ouch, ouch.

My sister’s cat had to be put down on Friday. Incredibly difficult for her..she was hysterical when she called to tell mom. He was a very affectionate and sweet kitty. :( But she’s already looking for another, and found one that is absolutely gorgeous…if it works out, I hope he’s a comfort for her. Initially I thought she’d need to wait and let herself grieve..but I suppose not.

Two family friends were both diagnosed with cancer…his is terminal.

We’re also discussing moving out of this house, that we’ve lived in for 24 years. A one story, because mAintaining a two story has become too stressful. Have to get the house sellable, and that’ll take awhile.

My dad is being sued, due to a car accident roughly a year ago. Trial is in March.

So, a lot of shit to deal with.